Here is what the kind Dr. Heckle wrote for him:
Grandpa, I've been told
That you're getting old
I'm not sure how to set the stage
For someone at your advanced age
I know it really isn't fair
How you've got gray hair "down there"
But it's time to make amends
And put on your depends
And act like a trooper
When you're leaking out of your pooper
Say goodbye to your younger years
No need to shed any tears
You've aged like a fine cheese, instead of a Twinkie
All dried up, moldy, smelly, and stinky
You've made the term "old fart"
Into a living work of art
I'll listen to your political rants
Even while you're pooping your pants
Tell me about your old buddy Paul Revere
While drinking prune juice for your your rear
In all seriousness though
You're the coolest Grandpa I know
So enjoy your Charleston Chew
And the fresh morning mountain dew
Because you never know when the Grim Reaper is coming for you...
