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dr. heckle: friend or foe?
it’s taken me a bitch ass long time to write this post for dr. heckle. i could blame it on my baby like i do everything else (it's the only reason i decided to have a kid), but honestly, it's pretty much because i didn't think i could write anything half as hilarious as the good doctor would dream up. i don't take to kindly to competition in the humor department. the "my boobs are perkier than yours" department? sure why not. i mean i had a kid, so they sag and its all her fault. but the humor department is my gig.
so what can i do to make myself feel better that heckle's unnaturally funny and even has a better name than me? list the reasons why i'm more awesome than him:
- milk comes out of my boobs. betcha can't do that heckle.
- i can waste a whole blog post about chihuahua shit on my blog and nobody thinks twice.
- i have a daughter who's not only awesome to have around to blame things on, but she makes a spectacular broom. she cleans my floors just by crawling around in dust attracting pants.
- i have a husband who has delicate princess eyes and making fun of them gives me fodder for my blog.
- i have a '98 four runner. jealous?
- i have written two craptastic novels and am working on a third. if you're not jealous by now then you must be broken.
so it's a short list but it's all i have. it's what i try to focus on when i get the shakes at night, rocking on my haunches whilst repeating "i'm better than the heckle. i'm better than the heckle." but come to think of it, i don't mind having doctor heckle around. he makes me laugh, even if it's hard to admit. after all, there's more than enough room for two clowns in this rodeo.
*************Thanks Ericka. You're right, rodeo clowns should work together. However, my boobs are pretty perky.
Make sure you check out her blog.
