This Morning

This morning I crawled out of my cardboard box and was slapped in the face by love.  By "love," I mean your Mom.  She's a wily little minx.  By "wily," I mean huge, by "little," I mean drunk and by "minx," I mean crack whore.

I skipped down the street on my way to work and was shocked to find a dog peeing on my brand new parachute pants.  By "dog," I mean a smelly homeless man and by "peeing," I mean massaging my firm buttocks.

"When will the craziness end?"  I thought to myself.

"Never!"  I answered with my alter-ego named Chaz. Comments