Friday, April 18, 2014

4/18/2014 03:43:00 PM
Have you ever taken a face plant on the sidewalk and twisted your ankle for no apparent reason? That's what I did a mere hour before the first of our three shows was about to start here in Sacramento. Road rash on my face and a distinct, painful limp are the remnants of a fight I decided to pick with the curb over whether or not I should walk upright. As you can see, I lost.


It wasn't really a fight, so much as a one sided ass kicking by a stoic, immovable object called "the ground." That's how I roll. Face first or die. The only thing better than embarrassing yourself in such a way, is getting up on stage in front of a bunch of people immediately after so that you have to relive the entire thing over again. It's not like they aren't going to notice my limp or shredded face. So what do you do? Address the elephant in the room, and unfortunately this time, it's not a penis joke.

The show ended up going really well. I managed to limp on stage and stop bleeding long enough to perform. The people there were awesome, and I'm still very excited to be in Sacramento. There's two more shows, tonight and tomorrow night. 

We drove 14 hours to get here, arriving at 430am yesterday morning so that I might have my fateful meeting of face with concrete. 

It was a long drive, but still really fun. It's the longest road trip that my wife and I have been on together and we didn't kill each other or even fight once. So we probably deserve some kind of medal. Plus, you get a chance to really enjoy the country side when your wife has to stop every thirty minutes to pee.

One of the highlights of the trip so far was the required stop at In-N-Out Burger. Kristina insisted that it was something we had to do. I wasn't against it, but I also wasn't convinced that they are as good as everyone makes them out to be. I mean, I've had some amazing burgers before in many locations around the country. How could they be all that different?

Was it the best burger I've ever had in my life? Probably not, but it was pretty damn amazing. That might also have something to do with drinking beforehand, but I will give credit where credit is due. In-N-Out is definitely up there with some of the best burgers and fries I've ever had. That might also be due to the fact that we ordered both the burgers and fries "animal style," which is basically grilled onions, cheese, and their "spread" sauce. 

Just like sex can be a mixed bag of good and bad, sex is still sex. Burgers are still burgers, and even the worst burgers are better than no burger at all. However, there are those burgers that you will remember for the rest of your life, and last night's In-N-Out will definitely be one I won't soon forget.

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