Wednesday, July 16, 2014

7/16/2014 11:34:00 PM
As a comedian, it's always entertaining to watch people eat shit. I still love going to open mics to watch people who are brand new to comedy walk up on stage with "jokes" that their friends told them were funny, and bring the room to a terrifying, deafening silence.

When people find out I'm a comedian, I will inevitably hear about how they always thought they were funny and should try stand up. I always respond the same way... "You should go for it! What jokes have you been writing? Have you been to any open mics before? Have you tried out any of your material on anyone?"

Their responses are almost always the same. "I don't really have 'jokes.' I just have some funny stories."

Oh good. That's all it takes. You should be good to go for a deal with Comedy Central, and a spot on Kimmel.

Watching Drake's monologue tonight reminded me of the countless open mics where I've watched people who have no idea how to perform stand up, and to whom comedic timing is completely lost.

The problem is that everyone thinks they are funny. You can tell someone that they have a big nose, or a fat ass and they will most likely agree to a certain extent. However, if you tell someone that they aren't funny, and you would think that you told them that their mother has a loose vagina.

She very well might, but evidently, that's just not something that you're supposed to say.

Watch Drake's monologue and revel in the joy and pain that is "eating a dick" on stage. I have to admit that I did think the blowing in the ear thing was funny, and that some of those jokes might have landed if Drake had any sense of timing. Oh well. Watch and enjoy as I did.