Thursday, July 09, 2015

7/09/2015 10:48:00 PM

Those evil little yellow creatures are stirring up trouble, but this time it's not at the movie theater. Trending on the internet tonight, multiple websites, local news stations, and YouTube channels are claiming that the toys that children get in McDonald's Happy Meals are swearing.

Not that I can blame them. If I was trapped in an air tight bag, kept in the dark for weeks, and only found freedom at the grease covered hands of an obnoxious kid, I'd probably be swearing too.

Take a listen for yourself.

I don't think the damn thing is swearing. Yeah, it kind of sounds like it's saying "what the fuck," but that's only because we're projecting our adult experiences and sensibilities on it. Minions don't swear. They don't even speak fucking English. Fuck, I'm sorry for swearing.

The voice is so damn garbled and distorted that even if it was speaking English, there's no way we'd even be able to tell what the hell it was saying.

Let's be real, people. There's no conspiracy by McDonald's to teach your kids vulgar language. Calm down, you idiots.

If your kid learns the word "fuck," they probably learned it from you when you got your cholesterol test results back after eating at McDonald's. Maybe that's what you get for feeding your kids that shit in the first place.

The funniest thing I saw was a news report where they bleeped out the word in question while playing the recording of the Minion!

Our society is fucking weird sometimes.


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