Sidekick wanted!

I like pumpkin pie, but the games I like are the sex kind...

You was a thick sista, get at me

Guess you should've brought her your lemonade instead... She "musta've" went after the fireman and his hose.

Experienced "Gorilla" Marketer

Who knows marketing better than gorillas? (especially ones in tacky short-sleeved shirts and ties) Maybe your mom, but that's about it...

Creepy Mimes Make Me Clutch My Loincloth

Want to be tickled with your own feather by a creepy mime, Squanto?

It Eats Dead Dinosaurs!

Tauruses will eat dead dinosaurs, walk away from explosions and get you laid. What do you think I drive?

I'm Bi and Considered Quite a MILF

At least she's not offering to pay for it...Although, what kind of women is she going to get replying for free? Eh, what's sharing some AIDS amongst friends? er..strangers.

Large Black Rubber Fist "Paper Weight"

Is his son going to study proctology?

Gently Used Gum

Sorry, I already bought it.

Mutual Touching, But I'm Not Gay You Train Monster

Well damn!  I'm in the market for some frozen imitation crab meat!

Found Your Heckle

Size XXXL.  Also found stirrup pants nearby.

High Heeled Heckle

Only well used and well worn?  Shoe fetish much?

"Cracked leather and dried semen only please."

What the Duck? Heckle

"Ye better make damn well sure it's mature.  I don't want 'em breedin' wit no underage ducks. Memmer what happen to Pa?"

Yee Doggies! Craigslist Heckle

Don't bother emailing.  I already picked it up.  Yee doggies!!!

Craigslist Used Underwear Heckle

I personally like my underwear to have the elastic stretched out and holes in the butt.  Skid marks would be a bonus.