Guest Heckle: Alabaster Cow

Ericka from Alabaster Cow has written a guest post outlining all the reason's she's more awesome than me. I think she might be right. I don't have a husband with delicate princess eyes... And my wife would probably be pissed if I went out looking for one...

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dr. heckle: friend or foe?

it’s taken me a bitch ass long time to write this post for dr. heckle. i could blame it on my baby like i do everything else (it's the only reason i decided to have a kid), but honestly, it's pretty much because i didn't think i could write anything half as hilarious as the good doctor would dream up. i don't take to kindly to competition in the humor department. the "my boobs are perkier than yours" department? sure why not. i mean i had a kid, so they sag and its all her fault. but the humor department is my gig.

so what can i do to make myself feel better that heckle's unnaturally funny and even has a better name than me? list the reasons why i'm more awesome than him:

• milk comes out of my boobs. betcha can't do that heckle.
• i can waste a whole blog post about chihuahua shit on my blog and nobody thinks twice.
• i have a daughter who's not only awesome to have around to blame things on, but she makes a spectacular broom. she cleans my floors just by crawling around in dust attracting pants.
• i have a husband who has delicate princess eyes and making fun of them gives me fodder for my blog.
• i have a '98 four runner. jealous?
• i have written two craptastic novels and am working on a third. if you're not jealous by now then you must be broken.

so it's a short list but it's all i have. it's what i try to focus on when i get the shakes at night, rocking on my haunches whilst repeating "i'm better than the heckle. i'm better than the heckle." but come to think of it, i don't mind having doctor heckle around. he makes me laugh, even if it's hard to admit. after all, there's more than enough room for two clowns in this rodeo.

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Thanks Ericka. You're right, rodeo clowns should work together. However, my boobs are pretty perky.

Make sure you check out her blog.

Guest Heckle: Dylan Ford

Dylan is a long time follower of Dr. Heckle and has been with me since the very early days of this blog back in 2005.  After posting my homemade movie introducing myself, he wanted to make one for the site as well.  So without further ado...

Guest Heckle - The Butlers

I had the privilege of guest posting on their blog, Butler Way, earlier in the week. Now they attempt to analyze the REAL Dr. Heckle behind all of the awesomeness... Don't forget to check out their blog, or you might find a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep. (If you did, it would be completely unrelated to NOT reading their blog. Probably some punk neighborhood kids playing a prank because you yelled at them to get off your lawn)

Kerry and Paul's guest post:

Who is Dr. Heckle? Now if you read about him here, he is the son of carnies. Now when was the last time you actually saw a carnie? 1942? And we are fairly sure that there is no heckling degree at Harvard. This is more of a gift that cannot be taught.

Paul and I like to make up Dr. Heckle's story. Sometimes he is a really buffed out 5'2" guy from New Jersey with gelled hair and hammer pants. Or once he was a Republican senator from Utah posting to his blog from his iPhone during Senate committee meetings. Another favorite is a guy sitting in his cubicle waiting for Lindberg to come by and tell him he has to work this weekend.

While we are curious, we really like all the mystery. We feel like it would ruin everything if we really knew who Dr. Heckle is. Just keep being who you are...whoever that may be...it doesn't matter because you will always be Dr. Heckle. The best damn heckler we know.