You shall not pass!

How many Polish women does it take to...

Fart with confidence

I always do anyways...

Wang Holder

Awww, maybe they'll have some little wang holder babies...

Arrested during haircut

At least it wasn't while getting a Brazilian wax.

Woman sumo wrestler assaults ex-girlfriend

She thought it was a man-sized snickers. She was hungry.

Need a computer? Lightning fast 20MHz!!!!

I'll take ten.

Did you eat your homework?

Fat kids have all the good excuses...

Do you own an Amazon Kindle?

Well... I don't know either...

Leave my buttocks alone, please

I've never had my buttocks terrorized by a monster whopper, but if I did, I would have done the same thing.

Arnold staring at my kids would creep me out too

He'll be back...

9/11 Divorce

I'm guessing he doesn't regret the affair...

George Brownridge satisfied 15 women today!

They were all VERY exhausted...

Marco Polo

Sometimes simple strategies work the best...

Just WEIGHT for it...

Just be patient, Ting Wen...

Pyschics predict world didn't end

I predict that your Mom made me breakfast this morning.

Jaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

My feelings exactly.

Literacy program shows improvement?

Well, it's close. It's hard to remember how many "isses" there are.

Beef: Coming from behind

Nothing like some sexy cow ass...

17 Remain Dead in Morgue Shooting Spree

Well, shit. I thought at least one would come back to life...

Stop taking pictures of our texting bus drivers!

YEAH! Stop getting us into trouble! Tattle tales!