Pretty Princess Starlet Makeup Kit

SO pretty...

Hairy fat man attack

So much for that rule about not peeing in the pool...

"CANNONBALL!"

This can only end badly...

I think the bride likes attention

I love classy weddings!

Urban Cowboy

You don't want to know where he/she used to put that cell phone before he got the belt clip... Let's just say he/she liked it on vibrate.

Live Poultry, Fresh KILLED!

I feel like "killed" should be underlined with an exclamation point... I'll go there if they let me watch and make a poultry snuff film.

His bark is bigger than his bite

Nuclear fallout? wtf...

Employees must "wash hands"

Your food is "sanitary."

Fresh squeezed chocolate sauce

Hungry ladies?

At least someone is watching the road...wait...

It's okay, they have GPS.

Try not to cringe at your own wedding...

Regret can hit you suddenly...

There's nothing wrong with being a little hairy...

Camera angles are fun.

Thirsty?

Family photos are that much more touching when it's the very last one...ever.

Nah, he won't have nightmares...

I've always wanted to wake up between the sharp teeth of a tyrannosaurus rex... Maybe a faux monster under the bed would help too.

Who could be at the door at this hour?

*DING DONG*

Things that cannot be unseen

Now try to sleep.

How's my friend "George Washington" look to ya?

Death might be reasonable... You might as well TRY to negotiate.

Hungry?

All you can eat crab does come at a price...

Mud pie anyone?

Nah, I'm sure he's still thinking this was a good idea...

I don't want to laugh anymore...

Can anything freak your shit out more than a creepy midget clown?